You like that alliteration? I did too. Normally nostalgia feels crippling, an ache in one’s soul for a time that is no longer here. This nostalgia feels like a revisit, something familiar like the onset of an old emotion or memory that will keep me warm in the months to come. For once, I am not scared for winter. I do not fear moonlit commutes. I don’t cry for weekends spent indoors. I am not missing the hot summer months because I know they’ll be here before we know it.
I’ve been pretty vocal about my mental health struggles from my episodes of depression to my relationship with therapy, my anxiety and most recently, the bipolar ii diagnosis that I received earlier this year. All my questions and explorations have paved the way for me to be here. I never thought I would be. I hope my own journeys can help others with the same struggles or who feel they are on a similar confusing path. Mine is by no means over and it will be something I continue to fight my whole life and I am okay with that. What has been my saving grace and motto has been my ability to be unselfishly selfish lately. It’s my fancy way of saying self care.
I’m really stressing the importance of trying new things for everyone who knows how cold these upcoming months can get emotionally and physically. Spend time with humans, try a new restaurant, grab a tea or coffee or even ice cream cause I’m weird like that, start a book club and who gives a care if you read the book as long as you are focused on creating movement this winter. I mentioned in a previous post that I picked up knitting and crocheting. Bring it the fuck on grandma.
Last but not least, GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA. Social media is super dope and awesome but it’s really cool to live your life and find peace during the day so that you can use it for it’s intended purposes: to keep up with friends, family and your favorite people, places and brands when you have some down time. It should not be life. I’m speaking from my heart on this one. It’s a place that has the ability to make us extremely happy and feel validated but it also has the ability to create a loneliness in us if we aren’t prepared to be on the app.
My favorite during film photo shoots is the fact I get to escape a screen. The only light I’m reading is the LED of my light meter if that. I try to loose my phone if possible unless I’m on a time crunch. This shoot was a little rushed for my liking due to weather (it was windy and cold on Coney Island) but I don’t regret this day. Tamia is a beautiful light. I hope to find more shine in the next few weeks to keep me going. I hope you do too.