Today my depression is __________

I woke up angry and annoyed that I had to get up which usually means my depression is here to dominate and dictate my day. 

I decided I wasn’t going to hide from it but instead embrace it. No, I’m not giving my depression a massive hug and an invite to hang around but I decided I was going to manage it differently. 

When I was met with the feeling of agitation, I walked away or stepped back from my phone (a huge source for my agitation).  

When I couldn’t feel the sunshine, I went outside for a second. 

When the internet provided me with ammunition to fuel the negative emotions I have about myself, I got off. 

I went through the waves of emotions and I let it take me where it needed. Instead of sulking in the moment, I looked at my depression to try and understand it better, try to understand myself better. 

I’m not in control of my emotions. I feel what I feel when I feel it and there is not much else I can do in terms of experiencing those sensations. What I can do is manage my reactions so that my recovery time is quicker. 

It’s 3:22pm and the day is far from over for me but this is progress.